My Boy
by MissQueenBee
Summary: What if Gemma had Kartik's baby? not really sure where this is going, does not belong to me! belongs to the awesome Libba Bray!
1. Prologue

**Prologue for my new story, I'm not really sure how it's going to end, I'm just gonna go with it and see where it takes me, spoilers for TSFT**

Kartik died, and I was so lost. I went to America, and started a new life for myself. My three best friends were gone, Pippa was dead, Fee was in France, and Ann pursuing her theater dreams. I went to my university in New York City, and every time something funny happened I would want to go share it with Fee and Ann and have a good laugh with them, but they weren't there. And every time something made me angry I wanted to rant to Kartik, and have him tell me I was being silly, and then comfort me, but he was gone. Then, it happened, I could tell something wasn't quite right, but I told myself that I was being ridiculous.

I wasn't. Something wasn't right. And when I missed my monthly cycle, I knew for sure, that I was with child, Kartik's child.


	2. The Arrival

I didn't know what to do. The pregnancy was just one more thing I could add to my list of abnormalities: a dead mother, a drug-addicted father, a secret power, and a child out of wedlock. _Bloody hell!_ I did the only thing I could think of. I wrote to Fee and Ann. Felicity wrote back insisting that she was coming to New York, and that she sent Ann money to pay for her to come as well.

The day came when Felicity was to arrive. I went down to the docks and a massive luxury liner came in. People started to make their way off their boat carrying their luggage and what not. I look up to the top of the ramp where the flow of people walking down has decreased, and I see her, Felicity Mildred Worthington. She is radiant.

She spots me and shouts, "Bonjour mon cheri!" She's still the same old Fee, always looking for a way to show off her French. I notice that she is not wearing a dress, but rather she is sporting a pair of trousers. Fee then starts running down the ramp and right into me. Coming down right behind her is a young woman, probably about our age, with light brown hair. As she comes closer I can more clearly make out her face, she has dark, cat-like eyes, and plump lips. The woman reaches us and stands behind Felicity.

"Gemma, darling, how are you? You look tres magnafique!" Fee exclaims as she looks me over and then hugs me.

"Merci Beaucoup!" I say, butchering my French as usual. "I'm well, alright, I guess, given the circumstances."

"Yes, well I will reprimand you for being naughty later. Right now introductions are to be made." She turns to the woman standing behind her.

"Gemma, this is Jeanne," She gestures toward her and then whispers to me, "my 'friend'".

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle Gemma." Jeanne states.

-------------

A couple hours later I go to pick up Ann from her journey. I plan on bringing her back to Felicity and Jeanne's hotel room.

Ann walks down the ramp with her head held high, she's changes I can see it in her expression, not only has she grown in her confidence, but physically as well. Where she was plump has turned into curves, and her usually watery eyes and runny nose, seemed to have dried.

"Gemma." She says affectionately when she reaches me.

Oh, dear Ann, how are you? You look wonderful."

"And I feel it. What about you?" She asks. "How's your well your issue?" She asks this time in a hushed tone.

"I suppose, it's alright, but I don't really know what to do at this point."

"Well, that's why I'm here, isn't it?"

--------

Ann and I make our way to Fee's hotel room, and once we get there we all agree that we should wait until tomorrow to take care of "business"


	3. Sharing

"Sit, take a load off." Jeanne instructs me, in heavily accented French, as she pours me a glass of wine. Ann and I entered Fee's hotel room not two minutes ago. Felicity immediately greeted Ann, asking her all sorts of questions, while hugging her, and fawning all over her. I stood next to Jeanne, as Ann and Felicity laughed and smiled together. I wonder if this is how Jeanne feels all the time with Felicity.

I know that back at Spence Felicity and Pippa were the most beautiful and charming girls, and I sometimes felt inferior, but Jeanne barely speaks. She's lovely, but how can she handle standing next to Fee? Jeanne has the kind of beauty that someone will notice at a passing glance, and think no more of it, but Felicity is radiant because of who she is. One conversation with her will tell you, if you're not on her bad side, as I so frequently have been, she is witty and clever and personable. Jeanne seems lost within herself. Maybe she too has lost someone important. Maybe they are kindred spirits, both experiencing the same grief and intense pain, that I feel on a daily basis, a sharp pang that seems to resonate from within me. Maybe I'm not as alone as I think I am. Maybe Felicity and Jeanne just have different ways of dealing with pain; Felicity hiding her grief, by wearing a mask and covering her emotions, something that over the years she has had to learn to do the hard way, and Jeanne silently.

"Alright, listen to me," Felicity says, "tonight is a night for our glorious reunion. It is not the time to discuss the real reason that Ann and I are here." Felicity smirks in my direction. We all move to sit at the table that Jeanne and I have been standing by.

They pour themselves a glass of wine, and I sip at the one that Jeanne poured for me. Ann and Felicity and I are soon giggling and chatting just like old times, while Jeanne sits there next to Fee, emotionless. Ann refuses to make eye contact with her, I suppose because of her inclination towards women, but that doesn't make sense seeing as she and Fee are getting on famously.

"And then I told him, that if he didn't like my trousers then he could walk home." Felicity finishes telling a story, her cheeks glowing with pride, and we all burst into laughter, even though I missed everything, except for the tail end of the story. A smile has even worked its way onto Jeanne's pursed lips.

"So, Ann, you still haven't told us what you've been up to." I say.

"I just finished my first production, and it was absolutely brilliant, being on stage I mean, there is no feeling like it. I'm no longer invisible. Maybe someday, I will be as well-known as Miss Lily Trimble herself!" She declares as she stands up. Remembering when we met Miss Trimble sets us off into another fit of giggles. Felicity stands up next, and then me, and we all dance around the room, acting as though we were in a production.

When we finish I begin to clap and shout "Bravo! Encore! Encore!" We sit back down and pour ourselves some more wine.

"And what about you Fee?" Ann asks her words slurring, "What have you been up to?"

"I've been living in Paris, the most wonderful place in the world! I can't even begin to describe it to you, Ann, it's unlike anything else. Jeanne and I," At this point she glances slyly over at Jeanne and smiles, a real smile, "have rented a room in a boarding house. Lately, I've been trying my hand at painting and I'm not very good at all. Miss Moore," She stops right there at the mention of our beloved art teacher who turned out to be my mortal enemy, the one responsible for my mother's death. She starts speaking again, this time barely above a whisper, "Miss Moore would be quite disappointed in me."

Looking to change the subject I ask Jeanne, "How did you and Felicity meet?"

Jeanne begins the story, "We were both looking to rent out the same room. I had been kicked out of home because of my disposition. Neither of us was willing to give up the room, and so we agreed to share it and the rent. We soon discovered that we were, very similar." She then smiles at Felicity, the first time I've seen any emotion from Jeanne all day.

The rest of the night continues on in this manner, until we are all falling asleep. Ann is already fast asleep with her head on the table. Jeanne had gone to bed a couple hours ago and so Felicity and I were the last ones left. She stood up and moved over to the couch.

"Come sit with me, Gemma." She beckons towards me. I sit next to her and a sudden wave of sadness washes over my entire body. She's sad also, I can tell. I look over and see tears streaming down her cheek. I instinctively raise my hand to my own cheek and feel tears on mine as well. We sit there aware of each other's plight, and cry.

In a world such as the one we live in, two girls, such as ourselves don't have very much to call our own, but we have two things; this pain, the loss of someone you loved whole-heartedly ,which bonds us, leading into the other thing that is completely our own, our friendship. And being able to sit here and experience this with another person, makes my burden seem just a little lighter.


	4. The Letter

"So, Gem, what are your plans for your baby?" Felicity says to me first thing the next morning. We are sitting around the breakfast table.

"I suppose I will have to get a job. Where I'll find one that will hire a woman I'm not sure, but that seems to be my only option." I answer.

"Jeanne and I discussed it, and we decided that if you want to, it would be quite alright, if you wanted to come back to Paris with us." Fee says.

"Thank you, Fee" I turn to her and kiss her on the cheek. "And thank you too, Jeanne. I'm not sure that Paris is the right place for me though."

"And where's that?" Ann asks as she yawns.

"I have no idea." I respond. The only place that sounds like a good place to be is where ever Kartik is. I must stop feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to have a baby, and I bloody well start acting like it. From now on the baby will be my top priority.

"Paris it is, I guess." I say faking a smile.

"O Gemma! You won't regret it!" I haven't seen Fee this happy since our Spence days.

Later that day I return home. When I get there I see a letter has arrived for me. It's from Tom. I rip it open.

_Dear Gemma,_

_Hello, Gemma. How are you? I hope you have been well. I have been. In fact I am writing to inform you that I am to be married in the spring. Her name is Hattie Gibson. She comes from good breeding and had a small fortune. She is very beautiful and shall make me a wonderful wife. I will write you again to inform you of our wedding date. Grandmamma and Father send their love._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Thomas Doyle._

I reread the letter just to make sure I've read it correctly. I have. Tom is getting married! I laugh at the letter; it's like to Tom to be so formal. I wish I could go, but by the spring I will be very far along, and there's no way my family can know about my baby. They would make me give it up. They would force me back into proper society. It makes me sad to think I shall have to miss Tom's wedding; that I will never know my nieces and nephews, or see my family again. All of a sudden I feel sick, very sick. I feel the throw up coming and I do the only thing that I can think to do at the time I run to the window, throw it open, stick my head out and vomit. As soon as I'm done with the whole horrid affair, I hear a knock at the door. I don't really want any company, but I assume its Fee or Ann so I rush to the door. On the other side of the door is standing the last person in the world that I would expect to be here.

"Hello, Gemma." Simon says, as he bends down to kiss my hand.


	5. Confusion

I'm completely shocked. What is Simon doing here?

"Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" He asks, a playful smile tugging at his lips. I mean to respond, but all of a sudden I feel sick again so I run to the window and vomit once more. Simon comes up behind me. He gently gathers my hair and holds it away from my face with one hand, while he strokes my back with his other.

Of course Simon has to come at the absolute worst moment possible. He couldn't have come another day when my hair had actually seen a comb and I was wearing a respectable dress, and o yes a day when I wasn't vomiting out the window. That would be lovely I should think.

I finish and stand up, completely embarrassed. "Thank you." I say to him as he drops my hair. "I'm quite sorry about that. But, I'm afraid I'm ill, so maybe you should return another day."

"Nonsense. I'm here now aren't I. Why don't you go lie down and I'll make you some tea."

"But..." I begin to protest.

"Go, and relax." I do as I'm told, with my head down. I remind myself of a child that's just been reprimanded.

"Simon, what is it exactly that you're doing here?" I ask him when he walks in with my tea. I sit up in bed and he stands there looking awkwardly down at me. I gesture for him to sit on the bed. He nods in thanks.

"I'm here to win you back, Gemma."

"What?" What? I didn't see that one coming.

"Yes, I've missed you." He responds. "I love you." He says so softly that it's barely above a whisper.

"What about Miss Fairchild?" I ask.

"Lucy was boring. She's nothing like you. She doesn't have that adventurous spirit. So, I told my mother that I refused to marry anyone, save for you of course."

"I still don't understand. So, you completely went against your parents' wishes, got on a boat, and came here? All for me?" It sounds far too good to be true.

"Yes." He replies. Six months ago I would've been thrilled. But, things are different now. I love someone else. And no matter how hard I try, I fear I shall never move on.

"Why?" I ask once more.

"Like I said, I love you."

"You wouldn't love me if you knew the truth." I say coldly.

"Try me. Tell me the truth. Tell me your secrets, mysterious Miss Doyle."

"Like I said, you wouldn't love me if you knew the truth." My hand reaches instinctively for my stomach, where I feel the slightest beginning of a bump. I feel strangely… maternal. Simon comes closer to me. He brings one hand to my face and the other he rests on top of mine on my stomach. And he looks at me strangely.

"Whose is it?" He asks.

"Whose is what?" I ask feigning innocence.

"Don't play games with me, Gemma. Just tell me the truth. It doesn't matter. We can go home, back to England. We'll get married straight away. Everyone will believe it's mine. I'll take care of you." His offer sound strangely wonderful. I allow myself to be taken by his words for just a few moments, before reality sets back in. "And I will forgive you of course." He adds.

"Forgive me? For what? I'm nothing to you. I don't owe you anything. I'm my own person. And this baby will be mine. Not yours or anyone else's. I will raise him or her to be their own person, and I swear that you, Simon Middleton, will have nothing to do with it."

"Gemma, be serious here. You can't raise a child on your own. You don't have any money, other than whatever little allowance your brother sends you. Two people can't live off that. And besides, you're just a woman." My anger rises.

"You know what your problem is, Simon?"

"No, do tell." He says sarcastically.

"You can't handle rejection. You don't love me. I rejected you once and it kills you that someone didn't give you what you wanted. And I'm rejecting you again. And you hate it. Don't you? You hate it!" I shriek.

"Yes, it's true. I can't stand rejection." He says fiercely before pulling me into a kiss. It's rough and forced and I quickly pull away.

"Why do you deny me, Gemma? All I want to do is take care of you. I could give you everything you ever wanted."

"Not everything." I jump out of my bed and run into the parlor. Simon follows me.

"Well, then I suppose this is goodbye Miss Doyle." He is all formality, his voice is like ice. "Although, I should tell you I think you are making a horrible mistake. I wish you the very best in life and good luck with…" He gestures towards my stomach.

"I wish you every happiness, Mr. Middleton." He reaches for my hand to kiss, but instead I offer it out to shake his. He's taken aback, but soon a smile tugs at his lips and there's a twinkle in his eye. He gives me his hand and I shake it.

"Gemma, you never cease to amaze me." He tells me, his old self once more. He turns and leaves.

He walks out the door and I know that this is the last time I will ever see the illustrious Simon Middleton; with his beautiful blue eyes and charming demeanor. It makes me a bit sad to think that this is the last time I will ever see him. Despite the way he has treated, I really do believe that Simon always had the best intentions. And it's not his fault that I can't love him, that I gave my heart to someone else. I stand in the parlor, both my hands have fallen onto my stomach and I stand there rubbing it, feeling close to my baby for the first time, and feeling closer to Kartik than I have in a long time.


	6. TO FRANCE!

"Gemma" Felicity shook me awake.

"What" I asked groggily. I opened my eyes to see Fee over me.

"Time to get up" She announced cheerily. I groaned and rolled over. In the days since Simon Middleton had come, Felicity and Ann had the sense to leave me alone as I was in no mood for company and could keep no food down.

"Go away. I'm tired". I pulled the sheets over my eyes.

"Gemma," It was Ann who addressed me this time, "Your boat leaves in two days. You need to pack". I pulled the blankets off looked up at them confused.

"My boat? Where am I going?"

"To Paris, with me". Fee patronized me.

"O yes that's right" I remembered. "Two days?" I asked bewildered. "Why didn't you wake me sooner? I have so much to do." I jumped out of bed. We began throwing all of my clothes together as best as we could. Our last two days with Ann came and went and before we knew it the time came to board the massive luxury liner set to deliver us to France

"I'll miss you, Ann". I pulled her into a hug. Ann had changed so much from the girl I had known at Spence. We all had changed since Spence. I looked over at pants-wearing Felicity, standing right next to Jeanne, and back at Ann with her newfound confidence. Then, I rested my hands on my stomach.

"I'll write you all the time, and you must do the same. I want to know all about the baby". She smiled. Ann and Felicity made their goodbyes and we boarded the ship.

I looked back at the dock and waved at Ann, she did the same. I continued to wave until she was out of sight. Ann had her own ship to catch. I knew that she would be alright. I didn't have to worry about Ann anymore. She had found her own way in the world, and I could tell that she was genuinely happy.

Felicity and Jeanne had disappeared and I didn't have the energy to go looking for them. I stood on the deck as the wind whipped my hair. My red curls spilled out of the loose bun that I pulled them back into. I wondered about my family. I wondered how Tom was getting along with his bride, a woman I would never meet. I hoped she was patient, or else she would never be able to put up with Tom. I thought about my Father. I hoped he was alright.

"Good afternoon, Miss". I was pulled out of my thoughts by a young man's voice.

"Good afternoon" I replied. I turned around, but there was no one there. I searched the deck with my eyes, but there was no trace of my mysterious visitor anywhere. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I could've sworn I heard him, clear as day. It'd been a long day; maybe I just needed some rest. I searched the ship for Fee. I needed to know where my room was.

I found her in the dining room, sitting down to tea with some of the ladies. She was a rare curiosity for them. Some of the women didn't know what to make of her, others seemed confused or disgusted. Jeanne was sitting quietly by her side, as usual. I tapped her gently on the shoulder, and Felicity whipped her head around.

"Gemma, come join us" She gestured towards the table. "Ladies, may I introduce my dear friend, Miss Gemma Doyle". The ladies began to ask me all sorts of questions, and I tried my best to politely answer them, but all I wanted was sleep.

"If you will excuse me, I'm very tired, and would like to rest." They all made their goodbyes and resumed their conversation as if I wasn't still standing there.

"Fee," I hissed.

"What?" She whispered over her shoulder.

"Where's my room?"

"Walk out of the dining room and turn left, go all the way to the end of the corridor and it will be the last door on the right" She instructed me.

"Thank you". I began to follow her directions.

"Wait," She called out. I went back to her side and she slipped a key into my hand. "You might need this" she joked.

I eventually reached my room and I collapsed into my bed. Sleep came so easily, until I began to dream. My dream started off pleasant enough. I was walking through the forest by Spence, nothing was really happening. Then, my dream got better. I entered the boat house and there was Kartik, just as he had been in life, sitting there, reading. He stood and I ran into his arms and he simply held me, saying nothing. We stayed that way for awhile and then Kartik spoke.

"Gemma, don't give up on me", was all he said. His words made me uneasy. What did he want me to do for him? He died. There was nothing I could do. If there was, I would've done it by now. Then, the dream changed again. I was running through the halls of my home in India. Something or someone was chasing me, but before I could find out what it was, I awoke.

Jeanne knocked on my door and informed me that it was time for dinner. I dressed quickly and pulled my hair back. I breeze blew through my room and I shuddered. I left my room quickly and headed for the dining room.


	7. A new friend

**Thank you sooo much everyone who reviewed, I love reviews, they make me want to bring back Kartik more, so keep em coming**

Jeanne led me out the dining hall. I sat next to Felicity on one side and Jeanne sat on her other. I noticed the other people at our table. There was an older plump woman sitting next to Jeanne, who was constantly nagging her equally plump husband. Next to them was a young woman and what I supposed to be her sister. They were both probably in their mid-twenties. Their hair was styled in the latest fashion and their gowns were definitely expensive.

And next to me was young man. He was about my age, with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I had the strangest sense of déjà vu. He turned around and caught me staring. I blushed and tried to join in fee's conversation.

"I'm Daniel" He said. I slowly turned back to him.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Gemma Doyle" I was embarrassed, so I tried to end the exchange, but he persisted.

"So what awaits you in Paris?"

"I'm traveling with some friends who live there. I will be staying with them for a bit" I told him. "What about you?"

"I'm also meeting some friends." He informed me.

"That's nice." I turned back to Felicity and endeavored to join in her conversation, but I was completely lost so I gave up and waited for our food to come. I was ravenous and it was taking forever.

"Miss Doyle, could I ask a favor of you?" Daniel asked. He looked so earnest, there was no way I could turn him down.

"Alright. What is it?"

"There's this young lady on the ship and she's taken a fancy to me. She's got it in her head that we are meant to be. But, the only way I could convince her otherwise was to tell her that I am engaged."

"How can I help you?" I questioned him, knowing full well what it was he wanted me to do.

"If you could just pretend to be my fiancée for a couple of minutes, I would be eternally grateful". He pleaded. "Here she comes". I looked over my shoulder and sure enough headed right towards us was a girl of fourteen or fifteen. She had light blonde hair that was pulled back into a bun and accented with a blue ribbon. We stood to greet her.

"Hello, Daniel!" She exclaimed as she reached us. "Who is this?" She asked, irritated upon seeing me.

"This is my fiancée." He explained while wrapping his arm around my waist, I released a tiny gasp before speaking.

"Darling, who is this?"

"This is Miss Dorothy Thompson, the girl I was telling you about." He replied. Dorothy's face fell with the realization that he was telling the truth.

"I should be going." She quickly excused herself and we sat back down.

"Is it true?" The plump woman across the table asked. "Are you truly engaged?" I looked over at Daniel who turned around to see if Dorothy was still in earshot. She was frozen not two steps away from the table. Daniel was torn I could tell he didn't want to put me in an awkward position.

"Yes, we are". I announced with a big smile. Daniel looked at me gratefully and I watched as Dorothy walked away.

"I do love a good wedding". The woman practically shouted. "Have you set a date yet?"

"Not yet, this is a very recent engagement" Daniel answered. There was something about him. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but he intrigued me. There was something so familiar about him. I wanted to get to know him better, but that made me feel guilty. I loved Kartik and even though he was gone I wanted to be true to him. So much had happened since I had been at Spence. Daniel looked over at me endearingly, and for a moment it seemed as though he wasn't pretending. I was so confused. I couldn't be attracted to him. The thought that I actually might be attracted to him made me sick with guilt. I couldn't cheat on Kartik. I couldn't even think about Daniel. Why was I so worried about him? I didn't know anything about him.

"Excuse me for a moment" I said as I excused myself from the table and ran from the room.

"Gemma!" I heard Felicity shout after me. I just needed to sleep. I could see Kartik in my dreams. I could forget that he wasn't there anymore, if only for a minute.


	8. Tears, Confusion, and Hurtful Words

**Enjoy this newest update! Sorry it took me sooo long to get it up, but I am a busy girl, please review, review, review**

I sat on my firm mattress and held my head in my hands. I then, laid on my back and hesitantly, rested my hands on my stomach. It was hard to believe that inside of me a little person was growing. I was just starting to wrap my head around the idea of being a mother. I heard a faint knock at the door.

"Come in" I groaned. I expected Fee, but that was not who I got. Daniel stepped into my room, looking extremely awkward.

"I'm really sorry, Miss Doyle. I didn't mean to put you in that position". He thought that's what I was upset about!

"It's fine." I said.

"No, it was terribly selfish of me and I'm going to march right out there and tell everyone the truth".

"You don't have to do that. I have no problem pretending to be your fiancée for a little while". He sighed with relief.

"Really? Are you sure?" He asked.

"Of course".

"Thank you so much, Miss Doyle". He flashed me a bright smile.

"Please, call me Gemma". He smiled at me again and something inside of me cracked. I suppose it was the realization of how truly alone I was that did it. I felt a few tears streaming down my cheeks. Daniel noticed and a look of concern spread over his face.

"Are you alright, Gemma?" He took a couple steps toward me. There something so comforting in his face and his voice, it all seemed so familiar. I didn't answer his question. I simply stood and threw my arms around him. I knew how improper the whole situation looked, I was a young woman alone in a room with a man I barely knew, and he was holding me. But, none of that mattered at that point. I cried and he held me. It was what I needed, and I immediately felt better. We stayed that way for a matter of minutes before I broke away.

I was feeling guilty about being attracted to Daniel and I knew that was part of why I was upset, but it wasn't just that. I wanted to give my baby the best life possible; I just had no idea how to do that. I was just a young single woman with no money and no home. My child would never know what it was like to grow up with a father and that saddened me. My own father was nowhere near perfect, but he was a good man and a good father.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" He asked me. I owed him an explanation, but there wasn't really one I could give. _I'm in love with this man, you see, his name is Kartik. What never heard the name before? Well. That's because he's Indian, or he was until he sacrificed himself to save me and ended up being sucked inside an all-powerful tree inside a magical world. And now I'm carrying his child._ O, yes I'm sure that would go over quite nicely.

"No" I replied sheepishly.

"Is the idea of being engaged to me that repulsive?" He joked.

"I don't know about that, according to Dorothy, you are quite the hot commodity" I teased him. It was just then that Fee waltzed in with Jeanne trailing after her.

"Gemma, it's very late and Jeanne and I would like to go to sleep now. So if you could please show your friend to the door" She told me, coldly. I walked Daniel to the door.

"Thank you" I muttered under my breath. He simply bowed his head in response before leaving the room.

"Gemma, what is the matter with you? Why were you alone in here, with that strange man? Don't you remember what happened the last time you were alone with a man? You are such a hypocrite. You're always going on about how everyone should pity you, because you lost the love of your life and now you're going to have a child on your own, yet the first chance you get to be with man you jump on the opportunity. I can't even believe this!" I stood there in disbelief before formulating my own response.

"How dare you! How dare you speak to me that way! You're the one who seemed to move on pretty quickly! Tell me did you wait five minutes after Pippa died or did you show her a little more respect and a least wait a few days before you started seeing Jeanne. And you call me a hypocrite!" I knew that would cut her straight to the core and it did. I saw her temper flare in a fury that I had never seen before.

"I love Pippa. Kartark was just a toy to you!" She screamed.

"Kar-tik, Kar-tik, his name is Kartik! And at least my affections are natural!"

'What? What does that mean?" I instantly regretted my choice of words. This time I had gone too far. Felicity looked genuinely upset. "What does that mean?"

"Never mind, I'm sorry Fee." I tried to back down, but she wouldn't let me off that easily.

"I'm helping you in your time of need, and this is how you repay me, that's gratitude for you". She replied sarcastically.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it; it just sort of slipped out." That didn't work either. The only other time I had ever seen Fee this distraught was when Pippa was gone forever, when I found out about their relationship.

"Goodnight, Gemma." She turned her back to me and I feared that was the end of our friendship. What happened next was surprising to say the least. Jeanne came over to me and kissed me on the cheek, even though I had insulted her as well.

"Don't worry about her," she whispered in my ear, "she's not been herself lately". Jeanne then rushed to Felicity's side and wrapped her arms around her. I crawled into my bed and wondered how it was possible that one person could have such a talent for messing everything up and hurting the people she cared about the most.

**Will Gemma and Fee make up? And what will happen with gem and this new guy? Tune in next time to find out?**


	9. The Deck

**I'm sorry it took soooo long for to update, please forgive me, and review**

The next morning I awoke to find my room empty. Both Jeanne and Felicity had already gone down to breakfast. I rose and dressed, and when I reached the dining area I saw Fee. I walked over to her table, but she didn't even look at me. I remembered the harsh words that we had exchanged and cringed. She had hurt me so badly, but I knew that I had done the same to her.

"Good morning," I said to everyone at our table. Everyone besides Felicity responded, she just kept staring straight ahead. I was really going to pay for what I said last night. The seat next to me, where the young man I met yesterday was sitting, was empty. I wondered why Daniel wasn't here, but then I remembered that it was none of my business. Just as I was finishing up my breakfast Daniel blew in. He looked horrible. His hair was in disarray. There were dark circles under his eyes, as though he hadn't slept at all. His clothed were thrown on haphazardly.

"Good morning," he nodded in my general direction. The other people at the table, stood to leave. They looked down at Daniel, disapprovingly. Then, I remembered that I was pretending to be his fiancée.

"Are you alright?" I whispered. He looked up and seemed surprised as though he hadn't realized that I'd been there the whole time.

"What?" he asked dazed. "Yes I'm fine, Gemma. I mean Miss Doyle." The waiter delivered his food and as soon as it arrived he dug in, completely forgetting his manners.

"Are you sure that you're alright?" I asked once more.

"Yes, I'm fine," he answered in between bites.

"Enjoy your meal," I said while I left. Well, that was rude. Maybe he was embarrassed about last night. Maybe he thought it meant more than it did, but it was just a simple friendly hug. Or at least I thought was, but while I sat there thinking a shock went down my spine just remembering his touch.

I went up to the deck of the ship where I found Felicity leaning over the railing staring out at the open ocean. Jeanne was nowhere to be seen.

"Hi," I said. She didn't look up. "You can't not talk to me forever you know". Still nothing. "Fee, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. We both said things we didn't mean," she finally turned around to look at me.

"You think I don't feel guilty? I have felt guilty every day since I met Jeanne. But, there's just something about her. I can't explain it. Being with her makes me feeling like I did when we would go see Pippa in the realms," she looked very small.

"Fee, "I began, but I didn't know how to respond.

"You were right, Gemma. You loved Kartik more than I loved Pippa. You have the decency not to be with someone else. You're honoring his memory. But, what am I doing for Pip? Trying to forget, that's what. If I can't remember then I have nothing to be upset about, nothing to feel guilty over. But, it did happen. Didn't it? Sometimes I think I'm going crazy, that it never happened at all. And then I see you. Same old mysterious Gemma. Look at you, your having a baby, his baby. You have something of him. I have nothing from Pippa," and with that she turned and walked away.

"Felicity," I paused, "Pippa would understand," I said, not entirely sure that was true. She looked at me for a moment, and then she left.

Later that afternoon, while I was still on the deck, Daniel came up to me. I stood by the railing. "I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't sleep very well," he placed his hand on top of mine. I let it linger for a second before I pulled away, ashamed.

"What did you do that for?" I asked. "I don't know you, but why do I feel like I do? Who are you and why do you act like you know me too? There's something about you," I stopped mid-rant, and let out a long sigh. " Just leave me alone. I can't do this, "I finished, but I didn't give him a chance to respond. I ran away. Well, if he didn't think I was crazy before, he certainly did after that.

I settled on a spot on the other side of the deck. I liked being on the top of the ship. The air was fresh and clear and the wind in my face was exhilarating. I sat there and began thinking of baby names. I already knew that my child was going to be named after someone important in my life. If a girl I would name her Mary, after my mother. If a boy I would call him Kartik after his father; although, maybe Kartik would've wanted to call him Amar after his brother. And then there was my father to think about. I could name him John after his grandfather. I decided that I had plenty of time to think about it. Maybe I wouldn't even know until I saw the baby. Maybe upon my first sight of my newborn child I would just know.

"Miss Doyle, may I speak with you?" I turned around to see Daniel standing over me, except he looked different. His eyes, usually a startling shade of blue, were a warm shade of chocolate brown. In an instant they were back to their regular color, but I could've sworn…


	10. Amar?

"Your eyes," I stopped, they were bright blue once again and I was just making a fool of myself.

"My eyes?"

"Never mind," I looked down into my lap. All this cold sea air was getting to my head. Daniel sat down next to me. "I'm sorry I was rude earlier," I said.

"It's forgotten. But, Gemma, Miss Doyle, you were right. I do feel like I know you. I want to be near you. Something about you draws me in. And the reason I was late for breakfast is I was up all might. I was having these terrible dreams. They were so real," he looked scared for a moment. "And you were there. I thought maybe you would have an explanation," his eyes met mine. Maybe he was Rakshana.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but I cannot help you," I stood to go, but he grabbed my wrist, and gazed pleadingly up at me.

"Please," he whispered. I understood what it was like to be haunted by your own mind, but what was I supposed to tell him? That I was a priestess of the Order, that I could open the portal to another world? I thought I had left all of this behind me.

As I stood there pondering, I saw Jeanne walking towards us. She stopped where we were, planted a kiss on my cheek, and said, "Hello, Gemma darling". That was weird, she sounded so much like…. No, I'm not even going to think about that.

Daniel released my wrist and a dazed look came over his face. "I apologize," he said, "I have no idea what came over me". He stood up, and there was very little space between us. Once again I became aware of his physical presence. He seemed unaware. "Excuse me, Miss Doyle," he walked away shaking his head.

I returned to my room to find Felicity, still looking sour. "Hello," she said softly. She lay on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. I laid down next to her and took hold of her hand.

"How did everything become so complicated?" I asked.

"I can't remember the last time things weren't complicated," She answered. She was right. It had been a long time since my life had any semblance of normalcy. The last time I could remember feeling normal was on my sixteenth birthday, before I witnessed my mother kill herself in front of a gruesome creature, before I had been sent to Spence, before I discovered my true identity.

"Do you know who I envy?" she asked.

"Who?"

"Lucy Fairchild, that stupid cow," she said. I laughed, the hardest I had laughed in so long.

"Why?"

"Because she'll marry Simon and have nice things and live the perfect life, but she'll be too stupid to realize how boring it all is".

"I wouldn't envy her too much," Felicity looked at me quizzically.

"Don't you remember he came to see me," I reminded her. Her face lit up with remembrance. "Wouldn't it be horrible to spend your whole life thinking your husband loved you, when really," she cut me off.

"He's madly in love with a scandalous High Priestess," she teased.

"No, he's not in love with me. He just wants me because I won't have him," I said.

"Well, either way," Felicity began, "she'll never figure it out". We laughed and stayed that way for awhile, until we heard a knock.

I went to the door and opened it. Daniel stood on the other side. I looked back at Felicity, flustered. Every time I thought he would leave me alone, he kept showing up again. "I'm going to go for a walk," Felicity announced as she stood up. She walked out, but turned back once she was out the door, to make sure I was alright. I nodded at her tentatively.

"Come in," I invited Daniel in. He took a step towards me and as soon as I closed the door, he grabbed me. He brought his lips to mine fiercely, and for a moment I forgot where I was. I forgot that I was on a boat, on my way to Paris. Instead, I saw myself at the gypsy camp on the Spence grounds. It was so vivid. The grass underneath my feet was wet, I could smell the campfire. A group of young gypsy men, surrounded my friends and I. They closed in on me, until Kartik stepped forward.

"She's with me," he said, his voice strong and commanding.

"Are you sure?" the one with the big nose asked, "She does not seem very willing, perhaps, she would rather come with me?" He tried to close the space between us, but I did the only thing I could think of, I kissed Kartik. His lips were warm and soft. I could hear the mean chuckling, and I could feel my friend's shocked gazes on my back, but none of it mattered, because for the first time I was in Kartik's arms.

I pulled away from Daniel.

"Did you see that too?" he asked. Had I brought him into a vision?

"Daniel, there's something I should probably tell you. The man that you saw, his name is Kartik". I saw an indescribable look come across his face. "I love him and I'm going to have his child," I did not mean to add that last part, but something inside of me wanted him to know. Daniel's face paled.

"You should name the child Amar," he said, "if it's a boy that is," he added.

"What?" I asked, too shocked to think straight. "Why?"

"I think it's a nice name".


End file.
